Just Do It!

Hello bloggies,

Let me be honest upfront. I don't have a lot of food pics to go a long with this post. I have just been super busy lately, so I really haven't had time to snap picture of my eats. I have been eating a lot of yummy food lately, though.

Anyways, I've been up to a lot recently. I'm now two weeks into fall semester and although I really like most of my classes this year, I have so much homework. I remember when I thought I had a lot of homework freshman year. Now, I look back and laugh, because the amount of freshy homework fails in comparison to the amount of work I have now.

So much homework...Aahhh!

 Despite the overwhelming amount of work, I really love my classes this semester. Well, most of them anyways. I'm taking mostly education classes. One of my classes is all about lesson planning, another is about meeting special needs in the classroom, yet another is about teaching P.E. as an elementary teacher (I have no idea why I have to take this, seeing that I am not a P.E. educator major. At least it's easy), and my final education class is a field experience class. For this class, I actually get to go into a school one day a week, shadow, and be an assistant teacher of sorts. At the end of the semester, I actually get to take over two classes and teach all by myself. The best part about the field placement, though, is that I got placed in my old elementary school. I'm super excited to go back and teach in the school that I attended when I was youngin'! I'm working in a 1st and 2nd grade classroom by the way.

I'm going back to my old school!

My last class is a history class, which I hate, mainly because I'm not really sure what's going on. The class is title Medieval Mystics and Heretics. It was the only history class I could get into. I feel like everyone else in the class knows so much more about medieval history than I do. I'm kind of struggling to stay afloat, but with a positive attitude, I can do anything, right? I just finished an essay for the class, which I am really relieved is now out of the way.

When I'm not in class or studying, I'm usually working. As I mentioned in another post, I'm working at an after school program every monday, wednesday, and friday afternoon. I really do like my job. I just love working with kids. One thing I have to be aware of, though, is social class and family differences among kids. I was really fortunate this summer to work with kids who all came from really supportive families. I just need to be extra cautious where I work now not to assume anything.

As if school and work are not enough, I'm also really involved with my sorority this year. Two weekends ago, we had spirit week where we all got together, reunited after along summer, and prepared for recruitment, which starts next week. It was really nice to spend quality time with my sisters after the long summer. It was also nice to spend time with all these girls after my besties from home left to go back for school. To be honest, I'm a little nervous about formal recruitment because I'm going to be way over scheduled. every day next week is basically going to look like this...wake up at 6am, go to class, do homework, go to more classes, go to work, and then recruitment events until like 11pm at least. Wow, I'm going to be busy!

<3...Where' Waldo Kristy? Can you find me?

Okay, now onto the good stuff. As I mentioned a few days ago, I went to D.C. to visit one of my best friends at school last weekend. It was soooooo much fun. I've been to Washington D.C. many times before with my old high school and my family, so we skipped a lot of the usual touristy D.C. stuff. We did, however, go to Georgetown, the Capitol, Metro Center, a big mall, Chinatown, and Union Station. We also went out almost every night and ended up eating pizza at 2 am.  Now, I must admit that I used to never go out. I realize, however, that Ed was the one who didn't like going out. Ed thought alcohol had too many calories and that staying at home and sitting on the couch was way better than going out, enjoying myself, and being social. Well, now that Ed plays a much, much smaller role in my life (getting smaller every day!), I go out every once in a while and enjoy myself. Honestly, as long as other aspects of my life are my first priority and aren't compromised by going out here and there, drinking is okay. Did you hear that Ed? I don't care if a cocktail has x amount of calories; I care about having fun and living my life!

The Exorcist steps!

Goin' out! (Just to let you know, I didn't wear the sweatshirt out. 

It was just so comfy, I didn't take it off until last minute...haha)

Chop't  Custom Salad--mesclun mix, carrots, oranges, cranberries, glazed 

walnuts,glazed walnuts, whole wheat tortilla slice, and honey dijon 

dressing...soo good! I really wish we had a Chop't in Vermont.

You're girl here ate a whole can of Spaghettios one night! Ed was 

definitely not invited on this trip. 

The national mall 

Anyways, while I was in Washington D.C., I met this guy and we ended up chilling a couple nights. I could totally tell he was into me, and I was pretty into him as well. Although nothing really resulted (a.k.a a relationship) from the situation, I'm glad I went out with him a couple nights. Ever since Ed, I have been really afraid of relationships with guys, but now that Ed is getting weaker, I have room for a man in my life. Maybe, I'll find a guy here in Vermont. Fingers crossed.....

Anywho, I flew back from D.C. late monday night and I had a class 8am Tueday morning. It definitely wasn't fun dragging my behind out of bed super early on Tuesday morning, but I did it. I also managed to get through another week of school. Oh, and I went to Friendly's with a friend on Thursday and ate this bad boy for lunch:

Grilled asian chicken salad--A-mazing! (No I didn't take the pic.)

After working hard all week, I rewarded myself and went out with a few of my sorority sisters Friday night. I had an awesome time even though I didn't get to bed until 4am. I also got to sleep in on Saturday....score! After a relaxing morning, I went out shopping with my mom yesterday. We also got pedicures....mommy daughter relaxation is a must. Then I ended up going out with one of my guy friend's last night. We went to Chili's and went to go see Going the Distance. It was a nice, relaxing night.

This movie is hilarious. It's really awkward to 

see with a guy friend though. 

Today, I did homework all morning, and now I'm going to run out to the mall to pick up a few fashion essentials. Later, I going out to dinner with my family and then I have a chapter meeting for my sorority. Tomorrow, school starts back up again....oh joy!

Before I leave you all for the night, I just wanted to tell you how much more I am able to do with Ed dictating my every mode. In the depth of my eating disorder, I had no energy or motivation to do anything. Yes, I went to school and I got really good grades, but that was all that mattered to me besides food and weight of course. I had no energy to spend time with friends and when I did,  I was like a walking zombie.

Now, however, I can do school work much more efficiently. I also don't obsess about getting an A+ on everything. Without Ed in my life, there is such thing as "good enough"; not everything has to be perfect. I also push myself out of my comfort zone to hang out with people that aren't my best friends. I'm working too, and I'm always doing something. I have the energy and desire to do stuff now. Not everything is a chore like it used to be. No, not everything is "ponies and rainbows". I still have issues with anxiety, some control issues over food, and arguments with my family, but I have so many more happy moments than I used to. I'm so much more content; I'm not scared of everything like I used to be.

Point being, if any of you are afraid to leave Ed behind and head into uncharted waters, leave your reservations behind and just do it! I know it's easier said than done, but I promise you it's worth it. When I first started recovery six months ago, I was terrified....scared to stay with Ed, scared to leave him. For a while, I was saying that I was "recovering", but I was really reluctant to let go. When I did this, I didn't get anywhere. Yes, I was eating more, but I still wasn't living. Please, just leave Ed behind and live your life! If Ed was still ruling my life, I wouldn't be able to do any of the great things I'm doing now!

Where have I been?

I'm so sorry for disappearing. I have just been super busy lately. School has started back up, my job has started, and I went to D.C. last weekend to visit one of my besties. I'll do a full post soon and fill you in on all the details, but let's just say I ate this bad boy:

Georgetown Cupcake peanut butter fudge cupcake

'nough said? I think so!

I promise to blog soon and update you all on the details of my life. 

Happy Thursday night everyone!

Living My Life!

Hello blog world!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in like forever. I kept telling myself I was going to post,  but I was always just to busy. Doing what?....you may ask. LIVING LIFE! Yep, you heard me right. I've been overcoming Ed and enjoying my summer like every other college student should be.

I spent most of my summer working. I was working almost 50 hours a week. Yes, it was a lot of hours, but I truly enjoyed my job this summer. Every day I got spend time with the funniest, sweetest, happiest (and sometimes brattiest) kids in the state of Vermont! My job was essentially to take care of these kids during the day in a summer camp setting. Helping kids take care of themselves really showed me how important it is to take care of my self. Kids at camp always copied what I did and looked up to me as a roll model. Well, roll models have to nourish their bodies. There is no if, ands, or buts about it. My job was also physically draining. I know there would be no way I could make it through the day with out giving my body the nourishment it needed and deserved.

I also liked my job this summer because it allowed me to form more relationships with people at my school.  Last year, I transferred to my school and immediately joined a sorority. I love my sisters to death, but last year they were really the only people I spent time with on campus. Working with other college students outside of the sorority (who are education majors...may I add) was nice. I formed some close bonds with some of these people. The night before the last day of work, we all went out had dinner and then partied after at one of my coworkers apartments. That night, I wasn't counting calories or worried about the nutritional info of everything I was putting into my mouth. Instead, I was having fun! I really hope to further develop some of these relationships when school starts back up in a few weeks.

When work ended, I realized that I had a few weeks with no set plans. Although I was excited to sleep in after getting up at 5:00am for work almost every day this summer, I was worried about how I would fill my time and prevent Ed from filling it. One thing I really struggle with right now is unscheduled time or time when I am not busy. When I'm not doing anything, Ed tends to make me think about food and all of my worries in life. Luckily, though, I've managed to keep myself pretty busy. I've spent a lot of time with some of my best friends and my family.....

I've seen a lot of movies with my best friend Elaine, including....

Charle St. Cloud: Zac Efron is a hottie!

Despicable Me: So cute!

Inception: so confusing but really really good!

Spent time at the beach with my besties......

Jet skis are awesome!

Relaxing on the dock

Just thinking and taking in the beauty of my surroundings...

Two of my friends fighting over the tube

Had bonfires with my friends.....

Our beautiful bonfire on a windy night

Two of my friends...roasting Marshmallows....I think???

Chillin'

Gone to amusement parks with my family....

My dad and I waiting n line at the Great Escape!

Biked with my dad (yes, I'm allowed to exercise now)

Vermont countryside is so pretty!

Got a new car!

2010 Rav 4....yes, my dad had to take a picture of me in front of 

it...haha

Enjoyed beautiful sunsets with good company...

Can't really see the sunset here because we are in the way

And relaxed!

Well, kind of....

In recovery related news, I'm doing pretty well. I'm not sure if my nutritionist meant to tell me this, but at my appointment last week, she mentioned that I am only 8 pounds away from my goal weight (a bmi of 19). 8 pounds......It really isn't that much. I thought I had a lot more weight to gain. In some weighs finding out I didn't have a lot of weight left to gain got Ed going. I thought I had more weight to gain, so I thought I was at a lower weight. This gets Ed telling me I am fat. However, knowing my approximate weight doesn't change the shape of my body. Nothing has changed except now I know some numbers and am aware of how well I am doing. In some ways, knowing I only have 8 pounds left to gain makes it easier because 8 pounds isn't that much, and my body isn't going to be that much different with 8 pounds of extra weight (aka: health). Case and point: 8 pounds...I can do this!

And now onto the food....

Margarita Grilled Chicken (with ketchup), eaten at  Chili's, with a 

friend

PB&J on whole wheat...I made one for me and some for my friends

when we went to the beach!

Van's Whole Wheat Waffles with syrup (not shown) & Yoplait

 Greek Strawberry Yogurt

Subway! Turkey & swiss on honey wheat 9 grain bread w/ lettuce

& honey mustard with a side of baked sour cream & cheddar Ruffles

Yogurt mess: Chobani plain greek yogurt, Kashi Heart to Heart

Warm Cinnamon, Peanut Butter Puffins, spoonful of PB&Co. 

Mighty Maple peanut butter, sliced nanner, and a lot of cinnamon

A s'more that I devoured in 3.2 seconds....Take that Ed!

I have to admit that I have been slacking off a little food-wise. Although I'm not intentionally restricting, I am not always getting all my snacks in. Yes, I have been busy, but if I want to put Ed to rest I have to be proactive in my recovery and make sure to give my body every bit of nutrition it needs. Anyways, here are some food pictures that have accumulated over the past few weeks.

Anyways, I plan on enjoying the last few weeks of summer. I'm going to be busy, but I think that is a good thing. I'm working at a kids' scrap booking camp the rest of the week. Then next week I start job training for my part-time job this fall. Did I mention that I am working at a kids after school program this year? Well, I'm really excited for it. This job will provide me with a nice break from school, add to my resume, keep me busy, and allow me to work with kids.

Spirit week for my sorority also starts next week. I'm pretty excited to spend some time with my sorority sisters! And, the week after school starts back up. I'm a little nervous, but also pretty excited. To be honest, I'm kind of frustrated with my school this semester. They didn't give me housing, so I'll be living at home, which I have mixed feelings about. Also, they messed up my schedule. I've been working with my advisor to get the classes I need. At the end of the day, though, I can't worry about everything and resort to Ed. He won't fix my problems. Instead, I need to trust that I have done everything I can to mend the situation and live my life....now, here, in the present. And that is exactly what I intend on doing!

I'll try to post more!

Until then, keep reaching for the stars ****!

Love you all!

Sooooo busy!

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I've just been really really busy lately. I'll post soon; I promise! Love you all! xoxo

Kristy

Protection

Hello Blogworld!

First off, I have to be honest; I haven't been taken pictures of my food lately. I've been super busy lately. Between work, appoitments, kicking my dad's behind at poker, and spending time with friends, snapping pics of my eats has been the last thing on my mind. Sorry guys. I'll get back on the snap-shot track very soon : )

Anyways, things have been pretty good in the world of Kristy. I've been working the last couple days and attending appointments. I think I'm doing really well recovery wise or at least that is what my nutritionist and therapist are telling me. I had an appointment with my nutritionist today. She did weigh me, but unfortunately her computer was dead, so she couldn't tell me wether or not my weight was still heading in a positive direction. She's going to send me an email.

Back-tracking to last weekend....I had an awesome time with my best friends. We got together, packed our lunches, and headed up to an area known as Bristol Falls. It's basically this section of river that is full of small waterfalls, natural pools, and clifs to jump off of. The place is absolutely breath-taking and a great place to spend a day swimming and sunbathing with friends.

It was a nice day, so of course the falls were crowded. 

Despite the clouds, it was such a pretty day!

Anyways, we spent a few hours there, eating, swimming, jumping, and tanning. Then we headed into the local town to get creemees! Good thing this lactose intolerant girl packed some lactaid in her bag...haha. Ed was telling me I didn't need a creemee, but I told Ed to screw off and proceeded to enjoy ice cream goodness with mi amigas!

The water was cold by the way. 

Me : )

As the afternoon turned into evening, we headed back to one of my friend's house to barbecue. We ended up having, chicken, corn on the cob, and toast. When my friend was preparing the chicken, Ed was having a hissy fir because she used so much olive oil. I decided that olive oil was a healthy oil, though, and that the extra calories would only do me good. I even put some butter (granted, it was light) on my toast! Go me!

By the way, I totally asked some random dude to snap this picture

for us...haha

Okay, you are probably all wondering why I titled me post protection. For any of you wondering, it has nothing to do with condoms or anything of that sort. Instead, it has to do with protection for one's self. The other day I was talking with my therapist about weight gain. During our discussion, she brought up a really interesting point about how a layer of fat acts as protection....and not just in a physical/literal sense. She explained how our bones are almost at the base of our essence. They not only hold us up, but they also protect all of our vital organs, including our heart. When people with eating disorders become emaciated, their bones are sticking out for everyone to see. In other words, the essence of our being is visible to everyone. When we put on some healthy weight, though, they are hidden, so we can keep some things to ourselves. Did I make any sense at all? I hope so because it's definitely an interesting way to view weight gain.

Master Chef!

Din-Din

Umm...someone needs some salmon grilling lessons. Good thing

I don't like salmon. 

What are your guys' views on recovery weight gain? What are some benefits/ positive ways to view it? I can think of a dozen different benefits. How about you?

By the way, it's almost hump day!!

Love you all!

Cherishing Childhood

Hey, Hey Hey!

Thanks for all your girls' support about insensitve Ed comments. During recovery, we can't avoid negative comments, but it is our choice as to whether these comments affect our actions or not.

Anyways, I got my camera back! Yayyyyyy! I finally remembered to pick up my camera when I was at my friend's house friday night. However, I ended up leaving my phone there. Not to worry...my friend dropped it off to me today. I love my friends!

Okay, going back to Friday night, I went to my friend's house and we had a girls' 90s movie night. It was a blast. A few of us girls gathered around the tv, had pizza, ate chocolate, and watched movies from our childhood. Not only did I tell Ed to screw off by eating two slices of pizza and some small chocolate bars, I didn't even care about the food. I was having too good of a time spending time with my besties and reminiscing about childhood.

Best movie of the night and one of my

favorite movies from childhood!

Speaking about childhood, I think one of the reasons I may have developed an eating disorder was to "stay in my childhood". Obviously, when someone is really underweight, they look a lot younger than they actually are. For the past two years, people never believe that I am 20 years old. Part of this is due to my young looking face, but I know being underweight doesn't help. Anyways, I have realized that starving myself isn't going to keep me young, delay the future, or do anything constructive. Although I am scared of the future, there are so many things I want from it. With Ed, I'm not going to achieve any of these things.

Enough blabbing and onto some eats! Seeing that I finally got my camera back, I have some real picks to  share with you all! Enjoy : )

The famous yogurt mess: plain Chobani, sliced banana, Kashi Heart

to Heart-Warm Cinnamon, PB & Co. cinnamon raisin peanut butter, and

lots of cinnamon

 Quick and easy dinner: Kashi Pesto Pasta entree, Alexia whole wheat

roll w/ Laughing cow, and rolo's :)                            

Lunch from a long time ago: Lender's whole wheat bagel w/ PB & Co. 

mighty maple peanut butter + Laughing Cow, dried apples, strawberries, 

maple glazed walnuts w/ flaxseed, and Kashi Chocolate oatmeal cookie

Today's Lunch: PB& Co. mighty maple peanut butter + apple butter

on Vermont Bread Co. sweet maple whole wheat bread, grape, freeze dried

apples, and Country Choice iced oatmeal mini cookies

Close up of a delic' sandwich combo

These cookies remind me of Christmas! I wanted to listen to some

holiday music while eating these babies (even though it's July..haha)

That's all I have for now folks!

Tomorrow's Monday! Back to work for another lovely, humid, and hot week! I really do like my job, though. 

Have a good night everyone!