Living My Life!

Hello blog world!

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in like forever. I kept telling myself I was going to post,  but I was always just to busy. Doing what?....you may ask. LIVING LIFE! Yep, you heard me right. I've been overcoming Ed and enjoying my summer like every other college student should be.

I spent most of my summer working. I was working almost 50 hours a week. Yes, it was a lot of hours, but I truly enjoyed my job this summer. Every day I got spend time with the funniest, sweetest, happiest (and sometimes brattiest) kids in the state of Vermont! My job was essentially to take care of these kids during the day in a summer camp setting. Helping kids take care of themselves really showed me how important it is to take care of my self. Kids at camp always copied what I did and looked up to me as a roll model. Well, roll models have to nourish their bodies. There is no if, ands, or buts about it. My job was also physically draining. I know there would be no way I could make it through the day with out giving my body the nourishment it needed and deserved.

I also liked my job this summer because it allowed me to form more relationships with people at my school.  Last year, I transferred to my school and immediately joined a sorority. I love my sisters to death, but last year they were really the only people I spent time with on campus. Working with other college students outside of the sorority (who are education majors...may I add) was nice. I formed some close bonds with some of these people. The night before the last day of work, we all went out had dinner and then partied after at one of my coworkers apartments. That night, I wasn't counting calories or worried about the nutritional info of everything I was putting into my mouth. Instead, I was having fun! I really hope to further develop some of these relationships when school starts back up in a few weeks.

When work ended, I realized that I had a few weeks with no set plans. Although I was excited to sleep in after getting up at 5:00am for work almost every day this summer, I was worried about how I would fill my time and prevent Ed from filling it. One thing I really struggle with right now is unscheduled time or time when I am not busy. When I'm not doing anything, Ed tends to make me think about food and all of my worries in life. Luckily, though, I've managed to keep myself pretty busy. I've spent a lot of time with some of my best friends and my family.....

I've seen a lot of movies with my best friend Elaine, including....

Charle St. Cloud: Zac Efron is a hottie!

Despicable Me: So cute!

Inception: so confusing but really really good!

Spent time at the beach with my besties......

Jet skis are awesome!

Relaxing on the dock

Just thinking and taking in the beauty of my surroundings...

Two of my friends fighting over the tube

Had bonfires with my friends.....

Our beautiful bonfire on a windy night

Two of my friends...roasting Marshmallows....I think???

Chillin'

Gone to amusement parks with my family....

My dad and I waiting n line at the Great Escape!

Biked with my dad (yes, I'm allowed to exercise now)

Vermont countryside is so pretty!

Got a new car!

2010 Rav 4....yes, my dad had to take a picture of me in front of 

it...haha

Enjoyed beautiful sunsets with good company...

Can't really see the sunset here because we are in the way

And relaxed!

Well, kind of....

In recovery related news, I'm doing pretty well. I'm not sure if my nutritionist meant to tell me this, but at my appointment last week, she mentioned that I am only 8 pounds away from my goal weight (a bmi of 19). 8 pounds......It really isn't that much. I thought I had a lot more weight to gain. In some weighs finding out I didn't have a lot of weight left to gain got Ed going. I thought I had more weight to gain, so I thought I was at a lower weight. This gets Ed telling me I am fat. However, knowing my approximate weight doesn't change the shape of my body. Nothing has changed except now I know some numbers and am aware of how well I am doing. In some ways, knowing I only have 8 pounds left to gain makes it easier because 8 pounds isn't that much, and my body isn't going to be that much different with 8 pounds of extra weight (aka: health). Case and point: 8 pounds...I can do this!

And now onto the food....

Margarita Grilled Chicken (with ketchup), eaten at  Chili's, with a 

friend

PB&J on whole wheat...I made one for me and some for my friends

when we went to the beach!

Van's Whole Wheat Waffles with syrup (not shown) & Yoplait

 Greek Strawberry Yogurt

Subway! Turkey & swiss on honey wheat 9 grain bread w/ lettuce

& honey mustard with a side of baked sour cream & cheddar Ruffles

Yogurt mess: Chobani plain greek yogurt, Kashi Heart to Heart

Warm Cinnamon, Peanut Butter Puffins, spoonful of PB&Co. 

Mighty Maple peanut butter, sliced nanner, and a lot of cinnamon

A s'more that I devoured in 3.2 seconds....Take that Ed!

I have to admit that I have been slacking off a little food-wise. Although I'm not intentionally restricting, I am not always getting all my snacks in. Yes, I have been busy, but if I want to put Ed to rest I have to be proactive in my recovery and make sure to give my body every bit of nutrition it needs. Anyways, here are some food pictures that have accumulated over the past few weeks.

Anyways, I plan on enjoying the last few weeks of summer. I'm going to be busy, but I think that is a good thing. I'm working at a kids' scrap booking camp the rest of the week. Then next week I start job training for my part-time job this fall. Did I mention that I am working at a kids after school program this year? Well, I'm really excited for it. This job will provide me with a nice break from school, add to my resume, keep me busy, and allow me to work with kids.

Spirit week for my sorority also starts next week. I'm pretty excited to spend some time with my sorority sisters! And, the week after school starts back up. I'm a little nervous, but also pretty excited. To be honest, I'm kind of frustrated with my school this semester. They didn't give me housing, so I'll be living at home, which I have mixed feelings about. Also, they messed up my schedule. I've been working with my advisor to get the classes I need. At the end of the day, though, I can't worry about everything and resort to Ed. He won't fix my problems. Instead, I need to trust that I have done everything I can to mend the situation and live my life....now, here, in the present. And that is exactly what I intend on doing!

I'll try to post more!

Until then, keep reaching for the stars ****!

Love you all!

Sooooo busy!

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I've just been really really busy lately. I'll post soon; I promise! Love you all! xoxo

Kristy

Protection

Hello Blogworld!

First off, I have to be honest; I haven't been taken pictures of my food lately. I've been super busy lately. Between work, appoitments, kicking my dad's behind at poker, and spending time with friends, snapping pics of my eats has been the last thing on my mind. Sorry guys. I'll get back on the snap-shot track very soon : )

Anyways, things have been pretty good in the world of Kristy. I've been working the last couple days and attending appointments. I think I'm doing really well recovery wise or at least that is what my nutritionist and therapist are telling me. I had an appointment with my nutritionist today. She did weigh me, but unfortunately her computer was dead, so she couldn't tell me wether or not my weight was still heading in a positive direction. She's going to send me an email.

Back-tracking to last weekend....I had an awesome time with my best friends. We got together, packed our lunches, and headed up to an area known as Bristol Falls. It's basically this section of river that is full of small waterfalls, natural pools, and clifs to jump off of. The place is absolutely breath-taking and a great place to spend a day swimming and sunbathing with friends.

It was a nice day, so of course the falls were crowded. 

Despite the clouds, it was such a pretty day!

Anyways, we spent a few hours there, eating, swimming, jumping, and tanning. Then we headed into the local town to get creemees! Good thing this lactose intolerant girl packed some lactaid in her bag...haha. Ed was telling me I didn't need a creemee, but I told Ed to screw off and proceeded to enjoy ice cream goodness with mi amigas!

The water was cold by the way. 

Me : )

As the afternoon turned into evening, we headed back to one of my friend's house to barbecue. We ended up having, chicken, corn on the cob, and toast. When my friend was preparing the chicken, Ed was having a hissy fir because she used so much olive oil. I decided that olive oil was a healthy oil, though, and that the extra calories would only do me good. I even put some butter (granted, it was light) on my toast! Go me!

By the way, I totally asked some random dude to snap this picture

for us...haha

Okay, you are probably all wondering why I titled me post protection. For any of you wondering, it has nothing to do with condoms or anything of that sort. Instead, it has to do with protection for one's self. The other day I was talking with my therapist about weight gain. During our discussion, she brought up a really interesting point about how a layer of fat acts as protection....and not just in a physical/literal sense. She explained how our bones are almost at the base of our essence. They not only hold us up, but they also protect all of our vital organs, including our heart. When people with eating disorders become emaciated, their bones are sticking out for everyone to see. In other words, the essence of our being is visible to everyone. When we put on some healthy weight, though, they are hidden, so we can keep some things to ourselves. Did I make any sense at all? I hope so because it's definitely an interesting way to view weight gain.

Master Chef!

Din-Din

Umm...someone needs some salmon grilling lessons. Good thing

I don't like salmon. 

What are your guys' views on recovery weight gain? What are some benefits/ positive ways to view it? I can think of a dozen different benefits. How about you?

By the way, it's almost hump day!!

Love you all!

Cherishing Childhood

Hey, Hey Hey!

Thanks for all your girls' support about insensitve Ed comments. During recovery, we can't avoid negative comments, but it is our choice as to whether these comments affect our actions or not.

Anyways, I got my camera back! Yayyyyyy! I finally remembered to pick up my camera when I was at my friend's house friday night. However, I ended up leaving my phone there. Not to worry...my friend dropped it off to me today. I love my friends!

Okay, going back to Friday night, I went to my friend's house and we had a girls' 90s movie night. It was a blast. A few of us girls gathered around the tv, had pizza, ate chocolate, and watched movies from our childhood. Not only did I tell Ed to screw off by eating two slices of pizza and some small chocolate bars, I didn't even care about the food. I was having too good of a time spending time with my besties and reminiscing about childhood.

Best movie of the night and one of my

favorite movies from childhood!

Speaking about childhood, I think one of the reasons I may have developed an eating disorder was to "stay in my childhood". Obviously, when someone is really underweight, they look a lot younger than they actually are. For the past two years, people never believe that I am 20 years old. Part of this is due to my young looking face, but I know being underweight doesn't help. Anyways, I have realized that starving myself isn't going to keep me young, delay the future, or do anything constructive. Although I am scared of the future, there are so many things I want from it. With Ed, I'm not going to achieve any of these things.

Enough blabbing and onto some eats! Seeing that I finally got my camera back, I have some real picks to  share with you all! Enjoy : )

The famous yogurt mess: plain Chobani, sliced banana, Kashi Heart

to Heart-Warm Cinnamon, PB & Co. cinnamon raisin peanut butter, and

lots of cinnamon

 Quick and easy dinner: Kashi Pesto Pasta entree, Alexia whole wheat

roll w/ Laughing cow, and rolo's :)                            

Lunch from a long time ago: Lender's whole wheat bagel w/ PB & Co. 

mighty maple peanut butter + Laughing Cow, dried apples, strawberries, 

maple glazed walnuts w/ flaxseed, and Kashi Chocolate oatmeal cookie

Today's Lunch: PB& Co. mighty maple peanut butter + apple butter

on Vermont Bread Co. sweet maple whole wheat bread, grape, freeze dried

apples, and Country Choice iced oatmeal mini cookies

Close up of a delic' sandwich combo

These cookies remind me of Christmas! I wanted to listen to some

holiday music while eating these babies (even though it's July..haha)

That's all I have for now folks!

Tomorrow's Monday! Back to work for another lovely, humid, and hot week! I really do like my job, though. 

Have a good night everyone!

Hi bloggies!

I have to tell you up front that this isn't going to be a "real" post, filled with pics of delicious eats and such. I just wanted to pop in to share some thoughts about the insensitivity some people demonstrate towards people with an eating disorder. Allow me to explain....

Most of my friends who know I have an eating disorder are super supportive of my recovery. On an every day basis, most of them don't even mention it, but I always know they are there if I need someone to talk to. However, I have one friend who means well but always seems to do more harm than good.

I told this friend about my eating disorder way back last winter when I first entered the recovery phase. I'm not sure why, but he was one of the first friends I told. Thinking back, it was probably stupid to tell him. Over the past month or so, he has done a couple of things that really got Ed talking.

A few weeks ago we were walking, and he wanted to give me a piggy-back ride. When I got on his back, his first comment was, "I think you are finally getting heavier Kristy!" I know he was not implying that I was fat or anything, but Ed turns his simple statement into, "omg...you're getting huge!!" I know this is irrational, but I just wish my friend wouldn't make comments like this.

If his last comment wasn't bad enough, he made another comment that really got on my nerves a couple weeks ago. While we were sitting down, he started poking my sides for some reason. If that wasn't bad enough, he blurted out, "the chub is coming back". He assured me that this was indeed a good thing, but why would anyone say this to someone trying to recover from an eating disorder? I don't know how much weight I have gained, but I know that my bmi is still very low. Despite what Ed may tell me, I am not CHUBBY! I wouldn't tell anyone that their flab was returning whether they were overweight, underweight, an Ed patient, or not.

By the way, who ever said that chub is a bad thing?

Sooo..cute!

Last night, my friend did something that really ticked me off. Actually, the fact that he did it was so absurd I was more amused than mad. It was still very insensitive nonetheless. He posted a link to this video on my facebook wall:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyfcOriVKBM 

Seriously??? Does he understand how hard it is for people with Eds to "just eat it"? I know that his intentons weren't cruel, but I just wish he understood how serious eating disorders are and that they are not a choice. If anorexics could "just eat it", there would be millions of girls (and boys) not struggling.

I'm sorry to be so negative; I really don't want to be. On a positive note, I haven't let his comments/actions interfere with my eating. Yes, he has got Ed talking, but at least I can recognize that it is Ed talking and being irrational and not me. I need to accept the fact that there are going to people I come across who make disrespectful, dumb comments that get Ed going. At the end of the day, though, I am bigger than Ed, and I know that life with out Ed is "infinity and beyond" times better than life with Ed!

That's all : )

Love you all!

Excuse Me While I Melt!

My Gosh, it's hot out today. It was so hot, I seriously thought I was going to melt at points during the day. I think the thermometer topped out around 95 degrees!

Hot enough for ya??

I got to spend the sizzling day at work with hot, tired, and grumpy campers. Lucky me! Really though, it was nice to be back to work after a long and lazy weekend. I just wish it wasn't so hot. We didn't really spend a whole lot of time outside today due to the heat, but the indoor facilities aren't really air conditioned, so not only was it hot...it was also stuffy.

One plus about today: double swim time for my camp group. The pool at my camp is really cold. I , not having a whole lot of insulation, hates getting in the cold pool. Today, however, I was super happy to have a place to cool off.


After work, I was lucky enough to get a creemee with my father. For all of you who don't know what a creemee is, it's soft serve ice cream--Vermont style. Today, I got a maple and chocolate twist creemee. It was sooooo good. Sorry I didn't take a pic for you all.

Anywho, I tried my first breakfast cookie this morning. I took the Fitnessista's recipe and modified it a tad. I mixed together 1/3 cup oats, 1 tbsp peanut butter, a mashed banana, splash of soymilk, and a crap-load of cinnamon last night. I then spread it out on a plate and let it chill in the fridge last night. This morning I topped it with a container of vanilla greek yogurt. I must say that I was slightly disappointed. The cookie wasn't bad; it was just kind of bland. I prefer my yogurt messes. Any suggestions to how I can improve my breakfast cookie?? I'm definitely willing to try it again. Also, I really like cold breakfasts. What else can I have besides yogurt messes? (I know cereal is an option, but I find that cereal gets too soggy in milk too quickly...haha)

The infamous breakfast cookie: Quaker Oats, PB & Co. Mighty Maple

peanut butter, mashed nanner, cinnamon, Silk vanilla soymilk, Brown Cow

vanilla greek yogurt

Here's a lunch pic from lunch yesterday: (Yes this picture was taken in my fridge. I made lunch and then the phone rang. It ended up being a long convo, and I didn't want my lunch to get warm, so I let the whole plate chill in the fridge...haha)

Yesterday's Lunch: PB &J on whole wheat, freeze dried

strawberries and bananas, sliced apples, Country Choice

fmini frosted gingerbread cookies

Oh, and a pic of the pathetic parrot I drew in Arts and Crafts at work today:

Yes, I know; I have the artistic talent of a five year old, and I'm 

proud of it!

One more thing before I go...Did any of you watch the Bachelorette last night. Jake and Vienna.???Holly Cow!! Wha'd you guys think? Who's at fault?

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July everyone! How are you all spending this glorious holiday? Unfortunately, this chica isn't doing anything too exciting. Most of my friends are out of town for the weekend or are working....poo. I've been spending some quality time with the family this weekend, though. Yesterday, I went to see The Karate Kid with my pops and then we went out to dinner at UNO's. I had the BBQ chicken pizza. It was delic'! Sorry, no pics, but if you all head to UNO's, you can try the pizza for yourselves : )

Okay, Jayden Smith may not win any academy awards

anytime soon, but he sure is little cutie in this movie!

I spent some more time with my dad today. I went to run some errands with him and then we went downtown. We went to Breugger's for lunch, and I got a honey oat bagel with strawberry yogurt cream cheese. It was okay, but I probably wouldn't get it again. Oh, and I also had some Mott's apple sauce on the side. Afterwards, I did some shopping. I wanted to get some clothes for work, but I couldn't find anything. I did manage to snag this cute bowl, though. Score!

A little childish? Yes, but perfect for me--a little kid at heart

Later in the afternoon, I went and got ice cream with my dad and we took a walk along a local river. We had a good time, indeed!

In other news, my appointment with my nutritionist went pretty well. I was weighed and my weight did go up slightly. She would have liked to see it go up more, but she was pleased to see that I managed to gain a little bit despite being sick and recently starting a new--not to mention--active job. She didn't really change my meal plan much, but if my weight gain continues to slow down, I'm pretty sure a big cal increase is coming my way. This is definitely scary but I've come to accept that at times recovery is very scary; however, it is what is needed.

Anyways, I still don't have my camera. I did manage to snag a few phone pics, though. They aren't very high quality, but they are better than nothing, right?

Lunch one day--Lender's cinnamon raisin bagel w/ PB & Co. 

Mighty Maple peanut butter & Laughing Cow wedge, sliced apples

w/ cinnamon, freeze dried strawberries & bananas, and Country 

Choice chocolate cookie

Morning Snack--Blueberry Crisp Clif Bar...yum!

Quick dinner--Kashi Southwest Style Chicken (Didn't like this...

some ketchup made it taste better, though...yes I'm weird, I know)

& Alexandria Whole Wheat and Flaxseed Roll w/ Laughing Cow

Wedge

Sideways picture of my cute Vera Bradley lunchbox

Once again I apologize for my crappy phone pictures. I really need to get my camera back. I have just been so busy, though. 

Okay, well I'm off to eat dinner with my family, play with some sparklers, and watch the fireworks on tv. Very lame 4th of July... I know. Tomorrow, I'm not really sure what my plans are. Hopefully, spend some time with my amigos, sleep in, more family time, TV marathons, outside time??? Time will tell. I do know one thing about tomorrow, though. It's supposed to be 93 degrees here....Holey Moley! Today, it's 87 and I feel like I'm going to melt. And then Tuesday, it's back to work. Although work is really long and busy, I love it!

One more thing before I go...I've been thinking a lot about the 4th of July and how it is a celebration of the United States breaking away from England. We celebrate the holiday because a lot of hard work went into gaining independence from oppressive England. Just like the United States had to work extremely hard to gain independence from England, I have to work extremely hard to gain independence from Ed. Just a thought.

Happy Independence Day!