I'm so sorry I've been MIA

Sorry, I haven't posted recently guys. I have a few good excuses for not blogging, though:

1)I still don't have my camera (it's still at my friend's)

2)I'm working 40+ hours a week at a day camp as a counselor and all my free time is consumed by Ed appointments.

3) Any real free time I have had has been spent with family and friends.

4) I've been sick for the past few days.

So, I'm sorry for not updating you all on my super exciting life (not really that exciting...haha), but I'll be back posting soon. I just need to remember to pick up my camera next time I see my friend. Believe it or not, I have seen this particular friend twice in the last week, and both times I have forgot to ask for my camera. Dumb ol' me.

In other news, I have a weigh in tomorrow. I haven't been weighed in two weeks, so I'm a bit nervous. I've been following my meal plan for the most part, but I have been skipping a little bit. I've let Ed use "being busy" as an excuse to miss a few snacks. Additionally, I have been sick the past few days. Although I have been eating like I normally do, I feel like everything is just going in one end and out the other (do you catch my drift?) I don't actually find out my weight at weigh-ins, but my nutritionist usually lets me know if I gain, maintain, or lose. Let's hope for the best.

Well, it's dinner time. Believe it or not, I'm actually letting my mom cook dinner these days. Usually, when we have family meals, I insist on cooking or at least closely supervising everything my mom prepares, but after working with kids all day, I really couldn't give a crap if my mom follows recipes to the tee. My next challenge is to let her choose recipes to make.

Okay, that's about all I got for you. Hopefully, I'll get my camera back soon, so I can hit you up with some lovely food pics.

Happy Monday Everyone! Wait, is happy Monday an oxymoron?

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Once again, this isn't going to be a quick and short post. There are two reasons behind my lack of postage as of late. Numero uno, I still haven't found my camera....poo. Numero dos, I have been unbelievably busy lately. I ended up landing a full-time summer camp counselor position. I'm super excited about the position, and I love the job so far. However, I have little time for blogging. Hopefully, I'll find my camera and have some free time this weekend to inform you all of the happenings and eats of my life. So exciting, I know.

Well, that's about all this busy bee has to say!

On a final note, it's almost the weekend! Yay!!!!

Later bloggies!

I lost my camera : (

Yep, dumb ol' me here misplaced my camera somewhere. I think I may have left it at a friend's house over the weekend. Let's hope so! It's a real bummer, though, because I have tons of fun pics for y'all.

I'll keep this post short, because there's no pics.....and well, that's no fun. I just wanted to let you know, though, that I had an awesome weekend. There were bonfires, swimming, hot tubs, s'mores, movies, FRIENDS, and s'mores. Yep, you heard me right; this girl told Ed to screw off and ate some delicious s'mores!

Yumm!!

This weekend also involved....let's call them adult beverages. I'll be honest with you all. I almost never drink. I really don't think alcohol is necessary to have fun. However, I was with some of my favorite girlies in the whole world Saturday night, and I just decided to let go. Ed usually tells me that consuming alcohol will make me fat, lose control, and will make people look down on me. Guess what I told ed. I told him to screw off! (Sorry for the not so nice language there) I had a great time, I woke up no fatter, I didn't lose control, and I bonded with my friends. Will I be drinking regularly now? Probably not, because I know I can have fun without alcohol, but every once in a blue moon when opportunity strikes, I'm not going to let Ed ruin my fun. 

Right now, I'm really nervous. I'm not sure if I made the right decision pertaining to a summer job. I was offered a job as a sub counselor at a summer camp on Friday. I had another job interview today for a different camp. I really want to work at this camp, but I won't find out if I get the job until the end of the week. The problem: training for the other camp starts Wednesday. Earlier today, I was at a complete loss as of what to do. After some serious thinking, I decided the best thing to do was be honest. I emailed the employer from the sub job and told him my situation. I said I would be willing to go through training and continue with the job if I don't get offered the other job. I'm not sure if it will help my situation at all, but it can't hurt. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Well, that's all I have to say. I promise I'll start tracking down my camera, so I can hit you up with all my eats and such. After all, this is a food blog : )

Have a good week everyone!

By the way, what does everyone have going on this week? Anything exciting? Challenging? Completely insane?

Decisions, Decisions...

Well howdy hi blogworld,

I've been super busy, and I still am super busy, but I figured that my hiatus from blogging had been long enough and that  a real post was long overdue. So, here I am, filling you in on all the happenings in my life. Lucky you...

Okay, so you are probably wondering what the title of my post is all about. Well, I'm having a hard time deciding what to do about a summer job. As many of you know, I am currently subbing for a local school district. I absolutely love this job and I sub almost every day, but unfortunately, school ends next week and it doesn't start up again until I have to go back to school. So, one would logically think that would leave muah unemployed for the rest of the summer. Well, not exactly. I have options; I just need to decide what to do. I applied for this job at a summer camp run by my college aimed at little kiddies. I've talked to the director of the camp, and I'm pretty sure I can get this position, but it would probably only be full time for about 3 and 1/2 weeks and then I would be the on-call sub. The other job I applied for entails me working at a day camp for kids run by the humane society. If I got this job, I would be working full time for all of July and half of August. Personally, I would rather have this jobs because it involves kids and animals (my two favorites) and it has more hours. However, I haven't heard anything back from the people running the camp yet (I just applied yesterday...haha), so I don't know if I would get the job. I'm pretty sure, however, that I can get the college day camp job. I go to the college that runs it, and I have talked to the director and he seems pretty interested. I have an interview on Friday for the college camp job, so I guess I better make up my mind fast!

Anywho, I've been a pretty busy lady lately. I've been subbing almost every day, seeing friends, hanging out with the fam, going to appointments in hopes of kicking Ed in the ass, and eating ALL the time. Seriously, I feel like all I do is eat, but hey, I gotta do what I gotta do to say goodbye to Ed, right?

Okay, I'm just going to hit you up with some random food pics that have accumulated on my camera over the past week or so. I'm sorry for the lack of organization here...haha

Dessert Yogurt Mess-Vanilla Chobani, Chocolate Vitatop, & 

PB&Co. Mighty Maple

Lender's Cinnamon Swirl Bagel w/ PB& Co. Mighty Maple &

Laughing Cow, apple slices w/ cinnamon, & Barabra's Rite Rounds 

w/ Laughing Cow, eaten along side unpictured Honest Tea

Cranberry Lemonade

Maple Nut Clif Bar...So freakin' good!!!!!!

Back to Nature whole wheat mac & cheese, sliced chicken breast

, and peas, eaten with a glass of Silk chocolate soy milk

Breakfast Yogurt Mess-Brown Cow Plain Greek Yogurt, Kashi 

Golean, sliced nanner, PB&Co. Dark Chocolate Dreams

I do have more food pics chilling on my memory card, but I'm too lazy to go get my camera and plug the memory card into my computer. Have no fear, though. Here are some pictures I took outside while enjoying the beautiful weather:

Mommy's flowers

I've been reading this.....ah it's okay-not great

I planted these : )

And the pup!

Well, I’m off to go watch some television. What’s on the lineup tonight? Ughh…too much to watch. Losing it With Jillian, One Big Happy Family, The Little Couple, & The Celtics Game. Seeing that I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to sub, I won’t get to watch all this tonight, but thank gosh for Tivos!

One more thing before I go…when looking at some of the tv shows I watch, I realize that a lot of them revolve around weight loss. I’ve sometimes wondered if this feeds my ED or is simply counterproductive seeing that I am trying to gain—not lose weight. After some contemplation, though, I’ve realized that although I’m not trying to lose weight like the people on these shows, we have very similar goals. We want to get healthy, so we can live our lives to the fullest.

Just a thought….

Have a good night everyone! It’s almost humpday….yay!

I'm still here : )

Hey bloggies and bloggettes,

I'm just checking in to let you all know that I am still here. I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a few days. I have just ben a busy busy bee all week and weekend. I think things will calm down for me this week. I'll try to do a proper post tomorrow. I've got a lot to say and a lot of pictures for your viewing delight.

By the way, I just saw Shrek 4 Happily Ever After, and I must say that it was much better than I expected it to be.

Please forgive me for not posting recently. And yes, 

I know this picture is from Shrek 2. Puss in Boots is much

plumper in Shrek 4....haha

Enjoy your Sunday evenings everyone!

Oh, one more thing before I go: You better all be cheering on the Celtics tonight : )

                          

                                                                    Go Boston!

Okay, I must admit that I'm not a big b-ball fan. However, after enjoying a court-side Celtics game with my pops, I definitely have some invested interest in the guys in the green. 

I'll let you all go now, but seriously, enjoy the rest of your weekends loves!

Mr. Meal Plan

Like I promised, I'd post you a new copy of my new and insanely huge, improved meal plan. My meals are based on the diabetic exchange plan. On the left are the exchanges I need, and on the right are examples of each exchange. For snacks, my nutritionist just gave me a few options for each "snack time". 

7:00 - 8:00  Breakfast

coffee with chocolate soy milk.

AND

2 grains 1 fruit 2 protein 2 fats Dairy/soy

2/3 cup granola medium banana 2 tablespoon peanut butter Greek yogurt

10:00 – 10:30

Odwalla  bar and 8 oz chocolate soy milk

OR

Starbucks Smoothie

OR

Starbucks Frappucinno

1:00 – 2:00 Lunch

2 grains 3 proteins 2 fats 1 veggies 2 fruit 1 dessert

2 slices 1 oz turkey 2 slices of Swiss cheese bag of apple slices 8 oz fruit juice 1 large Kashi cookie

5:00 – 5:30 Afternoon Snack

Regular sized or 2 small soy ice cream sandwiches and 30 Annie’s Bunnies

OR

Cliff Bar and Fruit

OR

Medium Creemee

6:30 – 7:30 Dinner

Family dinner

2 grains 3  proteins 2 veggie 2 fats dairy/soy 1 dessert

1 cup pasta 3 oz. turkey 1 cup salad 2 tablespoons Italian salad dressing 8 oz soy milk 1 handful peanut butter M&Ms

9:15 – 9:45 Evening Snack

2 sheets graham crackers with 1 tablespoon peanut butter and banana

OR

Nut Butter Krispies

I'm not going to lie; this meal plan is definitely proves a challenge for me. I HAVE been following it, but let me tell ya', it has NOT been easy. I am constantly full (I'm starting to forget what the sensation of hunger feels like), and it definitely gets Ed talking. I'm not exactly sure how many calories I am eating a day, but it's a lot. You know what, though? I need those calories! I deprived my body of the calories it needed for so long that I need to compensate by adding lots more calories now. I'll do what I have to to inform Ed that he is not welcome in my life! 

I'm sorry to bore you with another picture-less post. I have plenty of food pics on my camera; I just need to put them on my comp. I'll do it soon : )

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

Gettin' My Behind In Gear!

Yep, you heard me right; it's time to get my act together and get my booty moving in the right direction. Where am I headed? Well, I'm heading towards recovery. I'm ready to leave ED behind and live my life!
Now, I'm not saying that I wasn't moving towards recovery before because I was. I just wasn't moving there fast enough; I was doing the minimum. To outsmart Ed, I can't just do the minimum. I have to give everything I got (I know the use of got isn't grammatically correct, but I like the sound of it...okay, I'm officially a grammatical dork.)

Now, what prompted this "epiphany", per say? The thought of inpatient treatment.....that's what! Even though I was following my meal plan, I really wasn't gaining weight. Yes, I would gain 1/4 pound here, and a 1/4 pound here, but the total weight gain was pretty insignificant. This lead my outpatient team to strongly recommend inpatient treatment to me. Personally, just the thought of inpatient treatment, whether it be traditional inpatient or residential, scares the willies out of me. Initially, I begged and I pleaded, trying to come up with a million reasons as to why I didn't need to go. And guess what, no one listened  : (

After some contemplation, though, I realized that talk is only talk, and it only goes so far. To convince my outpatient team and parents that I didn't need to go, I had to do one thing: Eat (more)! Once I realized this, I committed myself to eating more. Yesterday I added something to every meal and snack. In total, I think I probably added about 700 calories to my daily intake.

Today, I talked with my therapist and nutritionist about my willingness determination to eat more. Although they still think that inpatient treatment could benefit me, they are giving me another chance to put on some weight. Although I am apprehensive about all the calories that were added to my meal plan (I'm pretty sure they added about 1000 calories!), I'm ready to do this. I don't want to go to inpatient and I want to recover!

Like I told my therapist, for me, recovery is the light at the end of the tunnel. I fully recognize that I am no where near recovery or the light at the end of the tunnel. Because of this, the light appeared dim and I was only walking towards the light. However, another light has appeared behind me and not a good one. The light behind me is the headlight of a train (a.ka. inpatient treatment). In order to stay ahead of this light, I need to break out into a run, and that is exactly what I intend on doing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not under the impression that eating all this food is going to be easy. Mentally, it's going to drive ED up the wall, and physically, I'm going to be full all the time. I know the extra calories are necessary, though. If I don't push myself past the point of full, I'm not going to gain weight. It's as simple as that.

I'm sorry this post is lacking in the picture department. I'll try do another post really soon with many pics and an updated version of my meal plan. I'm subbing all day tomorrow and the day after, so a post may be a few days out. We'll play it by year and see : )

Well, I hope you all are having lovely weeks. Talk to you soon! Until then, I'm going to eat, eat, and eat some more.