Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Learning to Love Alone Time

Before I delve into this post, I wanted to mention the snow. Snow?!?!? Yes, snow. I really shouldn't be that surprised seeing that I live in New England after all, but this morning, I woke up to about six inches of white stuff on the ground. Yuck.

I had planned to go for a run, but I guess an a quick home work out will have to do. Usually, I join a local gym for the winter, but I haven't done so yet. When it's nice out, I spend a majority of my days exercising outside in the beautiful air. And, on the occasional day, I'll use the school gym. However, seeing that it is school break, the gym is One positive thing positive about this snow is that it is teaching me to be flexible. Flexibility is key in life! I did a 10 mile run on Monday and a recovery run yesterday. I really don't even need to run today.

Anyways, today I wanted to talk about being in spending time by yourself. To be honest, I hate to spend time alone. There was a time in my life (just a few years back) when I craved alone time. I would cancel plans, lie about plans, and not make plans just so I could spend hours by myself of with close family members. Why you ask...? Well, because I was in the depths of my eating disorder. Since then, I've realized that Ed was the one who wanted the alone time. He wanted me to be alone, so I could have complete control over my food choices and I didn't have to deal with anything outside of my control.

For the past couple years that I have been recovering, I've hated alone time. My mind shift has taken a complete 180 degree spin. I now try to avoid alone time because I associate it with Ed. I plan my day, so I see people often and only have short periods of time to myself. Although it's good that I'm so social, it makes for a pretty hectic life sometimes. And the truth is, you can't avoid time with yourself.

Take today for instance, I really have nothing to do this morning, and seeing that it's super snowy outside, I probably won't venture far from myself. My brain immediately tries to send me into a panic. ALONE!?!?! What are you going to do with a whole morning to yourself??!? One thing I've learned, though, is that alone time is okay and even necessary. Although I hate being by myself, I need to spend time by myself sometimes and learn that Ed can't get me.

So, I believe I'm going to spend the morning relaxing by myself, do a quick home workout, maybe go to barnes and noble with a friend, and then spend the evening out to dinner with the family, and shopping for tomorrow's turkey day feast!

Do you enjoy alone time? 
Any big plans for Thanksgiving? 
Any good at home workouts? 

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