Sunday, July 31, 2011

Routines...

Every night when I go to bed, I map out the next day in my head. Whether I'm working, going to school, or have the whole day to myself, I feel like I have to create a schedule to stick to for the following day.

Take today for example:

Wake up between 7:30 and 8:00

Eat a delicious breakfast!

Go for a bike ride with the padre around 9:30

Get back around 11:00

Do an ab workout

Shower

Grab a quick bite to eat with the momma and see Winnie The Pooh


Grocery Shop

Pack lunch and do some planning for work tomorrow

Eat dinner

Read or watch a movie

Be in bed before 9

While it's great to be scheduled and have routines, I also find them very limiting. Schedules definitely allow me to be productive, busy, and keep me from worrying too much. However, I also think that scheduling every little detail of my day takes a lot of the fun and spontaneity out every day life.

In the depths of my eating disorder, I'm not really sure if I scheduled my day like I do now. I know I was very obsessed with routines, but to be honest, I didn't do much with my day besides obsess about food I was allowed to eat, food I wasn't allowed to eat, calories, body weight, etc. While yes, I had friends...yes, I went to school, yes, I spent time with family.....my mind was always on food.

There was a time last year, when I felt totally free from my eating disorder. I really didn't care about schedules and routines at all. I always wanted to be busy, but last minute plans didn't bother me one bit.

I could be dressed in my pjs, getting ready for be, when a friend would call and ask me if I wanted to go to a party....SURE! Why not? 

I could get a text on Saturday morning asking me if I wanted to go camping for the night! Of course, see you in a few hours!


During this time, I was all for having fun while experiencing and taking in as much as possible. I would often schedule my day, but I didn't care if I stuck to the schedule I created or not. While I think I took this a bit too far last year and got to the point where I was saying yes to everything and felt like there was something wrong with me if I didn't have plans, I miss the carefree attitude I had.

While I definitely am still very productive, don't think about food 24/7, and for the most part, live a very balanced lifestyle, I think I am clinging to my routines too much. I do this partly to combat my irrational eating disordered brain.

If I schedule time with friends, I will never isolate myself.


If I schedule exercise, I won't overdo it or under do it. 


If I schedule time to myself, I won't burn out.

While all of these things are true, the truth is sometimes....

I don't feel like exercising when I am scheduled to...


I'd rather go for a bike ride than a run...


Friends ask me to do things last minute...


Plans fall through...


I can't predict what I am going to want to eat tomorrow....


The list goes on and on.

I think I am going to try to be more spontaneous this week. While I'll probably still create schedules for myself, I'm not going to act like it's the end of the world, if something doesn't go according to plan.

When plans with friends fall through, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me. It just means our plans didn't work out. Why can't I simply exist and enjoy time with myself?

When we are out of grape jelly, I don't need to throw a hissy fit because I can't make a pb&j for lunch. I can improvise and make pb&honey. Variety is the spice of life. 


When I plan to stay home, and I get a last minute text asking if I want to go to a bbq, I don't have to stay home because I planned to. I can go out and have fun with some friends. 


Breaking routines is a lot easier said than done, but I'm vowing to work on it.

Today for example, I followed my schedule for most of the morning.

I woke up at 7:30

Ate breakfast

Went for a lovely 15 mile bike ride with my dad

Taking a picture of yourself while biking is not 
an easy task. 

Covered bridge

Beautiful lake views

and some mountains!


and then did an ab workout blogged instead because that is what I felt like doing.

Now, I may do an ab workout before I shower and head out with my mom, but if I don't, life will go on, and everything will be okay better than okay because I'm listening to my body and myself!

Questions:
1) Do you create routines and schedules for yourself?
2) How do you handle not being able to follow your schedule? I often turn into a two year old and throw a temper tantrum about the most trivial things. I need to work on this.
3) Are you relaxing and enjoying your Sunday?

 

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