Sunday, September 12, 2010

Just Do It!

Hello bloggies,

Let me be honest upfront. I don't have a lot of food pics to go a long with this post. I have just been super busy lately, so I really haven't had time to snap picture of my eats. I have been eating a lot of yummy food lately, though.

Anyways, I've been up to a lot recently. I'm now two weeks into fall semester and although I really like most of my classes this year, I have so much homework. I remember when I thought I had a lot of homework freshman year. Now, I look back and laugh, because the amount of freshy homework fails in comparison to the amount of work I have now.

So much homework...Aahhh!

 Despite the overwhelming amount of work, I really love my classes this semester. Well, most of them anyways. I'm taking mostly education classes. One of my classes is all about lesson planning, another is about meeting special needs in the classroom, yet another is about teaching P.E. as an elementary teacher (I have no idea why I have to take this, seeing that I am not a P.E. educator major. At least it's easy), and my final education class is a field experience class. For this class, I actually get to go into a school one day a week, shadow, and be an assistant teacher of sorts. At the end of the semester, I actually get to take over two classes and teach all by myself. The best part about the field placement, though, is that I got placed in my old elementary school. I'm super excited to go back and teach in the school that I attended when I was youngin'! I'm working in a 1st and 2nd grade classroom by the way.

I'm going back to my old school!

My last class is a history class, which I hate, mainly because I'm not really sure what's going on. The class is title Medieval Mystics and Heretics. It was the only history class I could get into. I feel like everyone else in the class knows so much more about medieval history than I do. I'm kind of struggling to stay afloat, but with a positive attitude, I can do anything, right? I just finished an essay for the class, which I am really relieved is now out of the way.

When I'm not in class or studying, I'm usually working. As I mentioned in another post, I'm working at an after school program every monday, wednesday, and friday afternoon. I really do like my job. I just love working with kids. One thing I have to be aware of, though, is social class and family differences among kids. I was really fortunate this summer to work with kids who all came from really supportive families. I just need to be extra cautious where I work now not to assume anything.

As if school and work are not enough, I'm also really involved with my sorority this year. Two weekends ago, we had spirit week where we all got together, reunited after along summer, and prepared for recruitment, which starts next week. It was really nice to spend quality time with my sisters after the long summer. It was also nice to spend time with all these girls after my besties from home left to go back for school. To be honest, I'm a little nervous about formal recruitment because I'm going to be way over scheduled. every day next week is basically going to look like this...wake up at 6am, go to class, do homework, go to more classes, go to work, and then recruitment events until like 11pm at least. Wow, I'm going to be busy!

<3...Where' Waldo Kristy? Can you find me?

Okay, now onto the good stuff. As I mentioned a few days ago, I went to D.C. to visit one of my best friends at school last weekend. It was soooooo much fun. I've been to Washington D.C. many times before with my old high school and my family, so we skipped a lot of the usual touristy D.C. stuff. We did, however, go to Georgetown, the Capitol, Metro Center, a big mall, Chinatown, and Union Station. We also went out almost every night and ended up eating pizza at 2 am.  Now, I must admit that I used to never go out. I realize, however, that Ed was the one who didn't like going out. Ed thought alcohol had too many calories and that staying at home and sitting on the couch was way better than going out, enjoying myself, and being social. Well, now that Ed plays a much, much smaller role in my life (getting smaller every day!), I go out every once in a while and enjoy myself. Honestly, as long as other aspects of my life are my first priority and aren't compromised by going out here and there, drinking is okay. Did you hear that Ed? I don't care if a cocktail has x amount of calories; I care about having fun and living my life!

The Exorcist steps!

Goin' out! (Just to let you know, I didn't wear the sweatshirt out. 
It was just so comfy, I didn't take it off until last minute...haha)

Chop't  Custom Salad--mesclun mix, carrots, oranges, cranberries, glazed 
walnuts,glazed walnuts, whole wheat tortilla slice, and honey dijon 
dressing...soo good! I really wish we had a Chop't in Vermont.

You're girl here ate a whole can of Spaghettios one night! Ed was 
definitely not invited on this trip. 

The national mall 

Anyways, while I was in Washington D.C., I met this guy and we ended up chilling a couple nights. I could totally tell he was into me, and I was pretty into him as well. Although nothing really resulted (a.k.a a relationship) from the situation, I'm glad I went out with him a couple nights. Ever since Ed, I have been really afraid of relationships with guys, but now that Ed is getting weaker, I have room for a man in my life. Maybe, I'll find a guy here in Vermont. Fingers crossed.....

Anywho, I flew back from D.C. late monday night and I had a class 8am Tueday morning. It definitely wasn't fun dragging my behind out of bed super early on Tuesday morning, but I did it. I also managed to get through another week of school. Oh, and I went to Friendly's with a friend on Thursday and ate this bad boy for lunch:

Grilled asian chicken salad--A-mazing! (No I didn't take the pic.)

After working hard all week, I rewarded myself and went out with a few of my sorority sisters Friday night. I had an awesome time even though I didn't get to bed until 4am. I also got to sleep in on Saturday....score! After a relaxing morning, I went out shopping with my mom yesterday. We also got pedicures....mommy daughter relaxation is a must. Then I ended up going out with one of my guy friend's last night. We went to Chili's and went to go see Going the Distance. It was a nice, relaxing night.

This movie is hilarious. It's really awkward to 
see with a guy friend though. 

Today, I did homework all morning, and now I'm going to run out to the mall to pick up a few fashion essentials. Later, I going out to dinner with my family and then I have a chapter meeting for my sorority. Tomorrow, school starts back up again....oh joy!

Before I leave you all for the night, I just wanted to tell you how much more I am able to do with Ed dictating my every mode. In the depth of my eating disorder, I had no energy or motivation to do anything. Yes, I went to school and I got really good grades, but that was all that mattered to me besides food and weight of course. I had no energy to spend time with friends and when I did,  I was like a walking zombie.

Now, however, I can do school work much more efficiently. I also don't obsess about getting an A+ on everything. Without Ed in my life, there is such thing as "good enough"; not everything has to be perfect. I also push myself out of my comfort zone to hang out with people that aren't my best friends. I'm working too, and I'm always doing something. I have the energy and desire to do stuff now. Not everything is a chore like it used to be. No, not everything is "ponies and rainbows". I still have issues with anxiety, some control issues over food, and arguments with my family, but I have so many more happy moments than I used to. I'm so much more content; I'm not scared of everything like I used to be.

Point being, if any of you are afraid to leave Ed behind and head into uncharted waters, leave your reservations behind and just do it! I know it's easier said than done, but I promise you it's worth it. When I first started recovery six months ago, I was terrified....scared to stay with Ed, scared to leave him. For a while, I was saying that I was "recovering", but I was really reluctant to let go. When I did this, I didn't get anywhere. Yes, I was eating more, but I still wasn't living. Please, just leave Ed behind and live your life! If Ed was still ruling my life, I wouldn't be able to do any of the great things I'm doing now!

1 comment:

  1. Hey there
    I just stumbled upon your blog and I wanted to just tell you how awesome you are for doing all that you are. Being able to just forget about a cocktail and allowing yourself to have fun... most people wouldnt think twice about it but after ED it becomes a task in itself... so I really look up to you in that respect, and I wanted to just tell you GREAT JOB :) Your trip looks like alot of fun and I hope this school years work lets up on you alittle, I know its killer on me too!
    xo kimi