Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...

Well howdy hi blogworld,

I've been super busy, and I still am super busy, but I figured that my hiatus from blogging had been long enough and that  a real post was long overdue. So, here I am, filling you in on all the happenings in my life. Lucky you...

Okay, so you are probably wondering what the title of my post is all about. Well, I'm having a hard time deciding what to do about a summer job. As many of you know, I am currently subbing for a local school district. I absolutely love this job and I sub almost every day, but unfortunately, school ends next week and it doesn't start up again until I have to go back to school. So, one would logically think that would leave muah unemployed for the rest of the summer. Well, not exactly. I have options; I just need to decide what to do. I applied for this job at a summer camp run by my college aimed at little kiddies. I've talked to the director of the camp, and I'm pretty sure I can get this position, but it would probably only be full time for about 3 and 1/2 weeks and then I would be the on-call sub. The other job I applied for entails me working at a day camp for kids run by the humane society. If I got this job, I would be working full time for all of July and half of August. Personally, I would rather have this jobs because it involves kids and animals (my two favorites) and it has more hours. However, I haven't heard anything back from the people running the camp yet (I just applied yesterday...haha), so I don't know if I would get the job. I'm pretty sure, however, that I can get the college day camp job. I go to the college that runs it, and I have talked to the director and he seems pretty interested. I have an interview on Friday for the college camp job, so I guess I better make up my mind fast!

Anywho, I've been a pretty busy lady lately. I've been subbing almost every day, seeing friends, hanging out with the fam, going to appointments in hopes of kicking Ed in the ass, and eating ALL the time. Seriously, I feel like all I do is eat, but hey, I gotta do what I gotta do to say goodbye to Ed, right?

Okay, I'm just going to hit you up with some random food pics that have accumulated on my camera over the past week or so. I'm sorry for the lack of organization here...haha

Dessert Yogurt Mess-Vanilla Chobani, Chocolate Vitatop, & 
PB&Co. Mighty Maple

Lender's Cinnamon Swirl Bagel w/ PB& Co. Mighty Maple &
Laughing Cow, apple slices w/ cinnamon, & Barabra's Rite Rounds 
w/ Laughing Cow, eaten along side unpictured Honest Tea
Cranberry Lemonade

Maple Nut Clif Bar...So freakin' good!!!!!!

Back to Nature whole wheat mac & cheese, sliced chicken breast
, and peas, eaten with a glass of Silk chocolate soy milk

Breakfast Yogurt Mess-Brown Cow Plain Greek Yogurt, Kashi 
Golean, sliced nanner, PB&Co. Dark Chocolate Dreams

I do have more food pics chilling on my memory card, but I'm too lazy to go get my camera and plug the memory card into my computer. Have no fear, though. Here are some pictures I took outside while enjoying the beautiful weather:
Mommy's flowers

I've been reading this.....ah it's okay-not great

I planted these : )

And the pup!

Well, I’m off to go watch some television. What’s on the lineup tonight? Ughh…too much to watch. Losing it With Jillian, One Big Happy Family, The Little Couple, & The Celtics Game. Seeing that I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to sub, I won’t get to watch all this tonight, but thank gosh for Tivos!

One more thing before I go…when looking at some of the tv shows I watch, I realize that a lot of them revolve around weight loss. I’ve sometimes wondered if this feeds my ED or is simply counterproductive seeing that I am trying to gain—not lose weight. After some contemplation, though, I’ve realized that although I’m not trying to lose weight like the people on these shows, we have very similar goals. We want to get healthy, so we can live our lives to the fullest.

Just a thought….

Have a good night everyone! It’s almost humpday….yay!


  1. how is it going following the the new MP?gl on ur decision...either way uve got a job!:-)

  2. Thanks! The meal plan is getting better...as in more manageable. I'm not full all the time anymore. Yesterday, however, I was informed that my meal plan would have to be upped again in the near future! That sure threw me for a loop. I hope you are doing awesome in fighting Ed!

  3. its hard not gonna lie. and ED wants me to cut corners on my meal plan....how do yo udeal with that?:-/ seeing u doing it tho is incredibly encouraging!

  4. Hey, I never said it was easy. To follow my meal plan and be the best person I can be, I have give it my all and constantly "talk back" to Ed. Ed always wants me to cut corners, and to be honest, I do sometimes. Sometimes, I'll cut off the end of my bananas, not use a full tbsp of peanut butter, drink water instead of a caloric drink etc. At the end of the day, though, I know it gets me nowhere, so I push myself to go the whole nine yards. I also think back to my life when I was totally dominated by Ed. To be frank, it sucked balls. I was weak, scared, and consumed by thoughts of food 24/7. I no that I am nowhere near recovered, but life is so much better already with the progress I have made. I no longer constantly think of food, I have lots of energy, and I am stepping out of my comfort zone more and more. My point being that I look back to what "eating more" and the recovery process has done so far, and I use that to push me to do better now, so I can be a better person in the future. Sorry...I just rambled on. Just keep fighting Ed, and give it everything you have!

  5. no please ramble on all the time:-) how do u deal with eating out? do u prepare ur own food? im terrified of eating out and normal food my mom makes.

  6. I'm becoming better at eating meals out and made by others like my mom. Eating out used to be a huge fear for me. I felt like when I ate out that I had to restrict for the rest of the day. I've realized, though, that at most restaurants you can order a pretty nutritious meal. Granted, the calorie count may be higher in restaurant-prepared dishes than something I would make myself, but I'm learning to accept the fact that just because something has more calories, it's not necessarily bad. When I eat at restaurants, I'm usually with friends or family, so the extra calories are worth the fun, and I know my body needs the extra calories.

    I have to admit that I do prepare a lot of my own food. It's a control issue I have, but I am working hard to overcome it. I eat dinner with my family a lot. Usually, I like to cook, but lately, I have been letting my mom cook more. I usually give her a recipe and she'll make it. I'm still hesitant to eat what she makes, but I just tell myself, "food is food" or as my therapist says, "food has no magical powers; it's just dead stuff on a plate". I also sub a lot and a few days a week, I challenge myself to eat the cafeteria food instead of packing my own lunch. Some days, the cafeteria food sucks and it drives me insane not knowing what is in it, but I know that it is good because I'm letting go of my unnecessary need for control.

    To start, I would suggest eating out at a restaurant that advertises healthy options. Many chain restaurants offer healthy restaurants. Also, many local restaurants feature local, organic, and healthy options. Start there. As far as other people preparing your food, maybe you and your mom can make something together. Hope I helped : )

  7. thank u x 10000000000000000000000 xoxooxxo:-) if i could id giva ya a hug

  8. Hey beautiful!!! WOW i think this would be an amazing experience! a leap of faith.. you can do it!

    LOVE that clif bar flava!

  9. Aww, thanks Katie! You're too sweet.

    I love your blog by the way : ) It's so inspiring!