Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hi bloggies!

I have to tell you up front that this isn't going to be a "real" post, filled with pics of delicious eats and such. I just wanted to pop in to share some thoughts about the insensitivity some people demonstrate towards people with an eating disorder. Allow me to explain....

Most of my friends who know I have an eating disorder are super supportive of my recovery. On an every day basis, most of them don't even mention it, but I always know they are there if I need someone to talk to. However, I have one friend who means well but always seems to do more harm than good.

I told this friend about my eating disorder way back last winter when I first entered the recovery phase. I'm not sure why, but he was one of the first friends I told. Thinking back, it was probably stupid to tell him. Over the past month or so, he has done a couple of things that really got Ed talking.

A few weeks ago we were walking, and he wanted to give me a piggy-back ride. When I got on his back, his first comment was, "I think you are finally getting heavier Kristy!" I know he was not implying that I was fat or anything, but Ed turns his simple statement into, "'re getting huge!!" I know this is irrational, but I just wish my friend wouldn't make comments like this.

If his last comment wasn't bad enough, he made another comment that really got on my nerves a couple weeks ago. While we were sitting down, he started poking my sides for some reason. If that wasn't bad enough, he blurted out, "the chub is coming back". He assured me that this was indeed a good thing, but why would anyone say this to someone trying to recover from an eating disorder? I don't know how much weight I have gained, but I know that my bmi is still very low. Despite what Ed may tell me, I am not CHUBBY! I wouldn't tell anyone that their flab was returning whether they were overweight, underweight, an Ed patient, or not.

By the way, who ever said that chub is a bad thing?

Last night, my friend did something that really ticked me off. Actually, the fact that he did it was so absurd I was more amused than mad. It was still very insensitive nonetheless. He posted a link to this video on my facebook wall: 

Seriously??? Does he understand how hard it is for people with Eds to "just eat it"? I know that his intentons weren't cruel, but I just wish he understood how serious eating disorders are and that they are not a choice. If anorexics could "just eat it", there would be millions of girls (and boys) not struggling.

I'm sorry to be so negative; I really don't want to be. On a positive note, I haven't let his comments/actions interfere with my eating. Yes, he has got Ed talking, but at least I can recognize that it is Ed talking and being irrational and not me. I need to accept the fact that there are going to people I come across who make disrespectful, dumb comments that get Ed going. At the end of the day, though, I am bigger than Ed, and I know that life with out Ed is "infinity and beyond" times better than life with Ed!

That's all : )

Love you all!


  1. omg! u have every right to be hurt/triggered/mad/upset!!!!!!!!! id be bawling my eyes out.....u are so strong girl!!! totally look up to u for keeping ur composure!!!!!!!!!!!!xoxoo

  2. I totally know where you are coming from. Some people are just so insensitive and ignorant! I think you definitely need to tell this friend that these comments are hurtful to you. But major props to you for getting through this without resulting back your ED. That's a success in itself =)

  3. I know exactly what you're saying. Some people just have no idea how to handle the situation - it's not their fault, because they don't understand, but it IS a little insensitive to blurt out that you're getting "chubby". (Obviously you are NOT)
    I'm mentally preparing myself for those "You look better/healthy/good" comments when I come home from hospital. I myself know that I've gained a significant amount of physical weight and I know that people will comment. It's about being able to respond to those comments maturely and not letting ED run with them.

    Health is the most important thing - physical appearance comes only after medical health and stability. As long as YOU love yourself, nothing that anyone else says really matters.

    You deserve to love yourself, beautiful.

  4. im sorry about your friend!! but girl- i get those comments all the time. you have to learn to embrace it, and accept it. seperate yourself from the comments