Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Dilemma

I'm pretty sure my post title is the name of a movie, but I'm pretty sure you guys aren't going to sue me for copyright, right?

Not too much exciting happened at camp today. It was kind of a rainy day, so we were unfortunately stuck inside most of the day. It was kind of a long and boring day. I spent way too much time today, however, thinking about something.

What was I thinking about?

Whether are not I want to go to a barbecue tomorrow night. Last week, one of my coworkers told me he was having a barbecue at his house this Wednesday (tomorrow) and that everyone at work was invited. Initially, I was pretty excited about this. I really do like a lot of the people I work with, but it's hard to have real conversations with these people with hundreds of kiddies around you all the time. Conversations are always interrupted with campers beautiful voices....

Can you take me to the bathroom? 

He cheated!

What are we doing next? 

When are we going swimming? 

Kristy, I'm working on a duplicate machine. It makes copies of people, but I won't be done until tomorrow. (Yes a camper actually told me this today)

Anyways, I would really like to spend time with my coworkers outside of work. Last year, one of my best camp memories was the staff dinner we had at the end of the summer. We all let loose, had a few drinks, poked a little fun at each other, talked about how cute some campers are and how evil  misguided? other campers are. My camp is having an end of the staff dinner again this year, but that isn't until next week. This barbecue is just another fun opportunity to bond with coworkers.

Although part of me really wants to go, another part of me thinks it would be better to skip out. I'm just having a hard time deciding if it's "Ed" telling me to stay home or if it's actually prudent to maybe skip out on this one.

Let's get real here...

This barbecue is on a Wednesday night, and I have to be to work by at least 7AM on Thursday...

I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow night after working 10 or 11 hours and be ready to relax...

I'm sure some casual drinking is going to be involved, and personally, drinking during the work week doesn't really work well for me...

If I go, I will really have no time to myself from 7AM tomorrow morning until 5PM Thursday evening when I get off of work....

I'll be super tired Thursday if I'm up late on Wednesday... 

One of my best coworker friends isn't going, so I don't feel as compelled to go...

At the same time, I know there are some "Ed" thoughts playing into this...

What type of food will there be? I'm supposed to bring something to grill, but if I just bring a veggie burger will there be buns, sides, desserts, and other stuff? Will I starve? Will I indulge too much? 

Alcohol equals unnecessary calories. Although I'm okay with drinking maybe once a week, I don't want to feel bad about drinking this weekend if I end up drinking tomorrow....

I have to stray away from my routine, which is super hard for me....What will Thursday be like if I don't get enough sleep? Maybe, it's better to stay home, have my me time, and eat my normal foods? 

As you can see, I'm quite torn. I do have some good reasons not to go. If this barbecue were on a Friday night, I'd be all for it, but it's right in the middle in a long, tiring work week. Also, the staff dinner is only a week away, so if I miss out on this one, there's still that to look forward to. However, I feel like I'd have fun going and even if I didn't, it's only one night out of my life. One night away from my routine is not going to kill me.

I think I'm also afraid to not go because whenever I chose not to participate in something social, I always assume it is for "Ed" reasons. This line of thinking lead me to be frantic last fall and so busy and social that I could barely see straight. I need to accept the fact that it's okay to decline invitations sometimes. I don't have to do/go to everything.

So here's where I'm at....

If I decide to go tomorrow, great! If I decide to stay home, great too! I'm going to go throughout my day and not stress about it too much. If I feel like going tomorrow evening, I will. If not, I'll stay home. I need to learn that I don't have to plan everything. It's really okay to just go with the flow. Really!

Now, I'm going to enjoy this delicious dinner. It's a go to dinner when I have to cook for myself and am feeling lazy crunched for time.
Whole wheat spaghetti noodles, stir-fried red pepper, carrots, and 
brocoli, and lighthouse peanut dressing/marinade (surprisingly, peanut

Happy Tuesday everyone!

1) Do you struggle to stray from your usual routine?
2) Do you find it hard to be social and commit to social gatherings during the workweek? On the weekends, I tend to be all about them, but when I'm working, I definitely crave routine and me time. 

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